falling

i guess yesterday was the first time alot of frens witnessed me in an agitated state. insung, yeng: sorry for not allowing myself to cool down properly b4 i spoke to you pple. and to her: conflicting wants of wanting to share all my emotions and problems with you, compared to that of the joy/relief at seeing you and simply wanting to enjoy a conversation with you ensures that i never really know how to behave around you. thanks for everything nonetheless; u've made my hall stay truly worthwhile.

packed lunch with sokie at biz today and was walking down the stairs overlooking the 1st level of HSSML, when i inadvertently slipped and fell down quite a long flight of stairs. whatever the cause, be it my worn-out slippers or the wet surface, it din matter. my phone scattered in different parts over the ground. my lunch in shambles. blood seeping out of the fresh wounds. pain emanating from the bruises and possible sprains suffered. it din matter.

things happen. what matters is to react accordingly and pick oneself up.

i just sat there for a moment thinking of everything that i felt the previous night. if i had been given the choice to either feel that or fall a dozen more times on the spot, i would have readily chosen the latter. and more. the hurt and disappointment contained within me just flowed out in torrents then.

i slowly got up, commented wryly on the fact that i guess i wasn't meant to have lunch today, and assured sokie that i was fine with a smile; after all, the physical injuries and tangible losses din really matter to me then, and i din want her to worry unduly. went to wash up in the washroom, and as the tapwater gushed over my open wounds, the mixture of blood and water flowing into the sink gradually became less and less reddish, and more like typical clear water.

i guess one can only be hurt that much, and time will assuage all wounds, just like blood from wounds has to stop flowing after a certain time period. soon, i'll be like what i was before, with a mind uncluttered and untainted, just like the clear and steady flow of water from the tap.