the r/s conundrum

i've a close friend who states that he gets sick of things fast, save a certain sport. be it games, friends(to a certain extent), and in particular relationships. he simply gets bored of the aspects of a r/s (gg out, sweet nothings, commitments, etc) after a while, and never really ever misses his other half v terribly.

so i replied that he hasn't really found The One yet, and he's been settling for girls who appear to like him, which i suspect most adult males do as well to a certain extent. then i forgot whether he asked me the same thing in reply, but it set me wondering - am i the same?

one of the rare few times (i think there was only 2) i really terribly missed someone and thought perpetually about the person fondly to the point of silly obsession was during the first 2 years of hall (or even 3 i think). it does feel silly to have someone so always in your mind but it did distract me from other more constructive pursuits.

and i'm essentially a 'self' person as in I like to do my own stuff and meet friends on a whim so i don't totally enjoy being in a r/s for its own sake. but it's essential for the endpoint in marriage tho, which i'm aiming for in the next few years.

the physical aspect of a r/s which appeals to most guys isn't really that essential to me too. i can v well do without it. it's really the chemistry and communication that matters to me, and that, as well as common hobbies is the key to a lasting r/s for me. i need a confidant, activity partner and physical gratification within the GF package. and which is independent and not too clingy.

hard to find right. i know. it's like the ultimate fantasy.

the new life

it's the last week of school and even though i'm still busy with rushing markers' reports and committee work, it's nowhere like the past few mths where i worked from 6am-4pm, ate and napped till abt 8pm, then worked till 2-3am again. sundays included.

admin work is way easier compared to actually teaching on the ground. it's nowhere close actually, the pressure of having to think and react to different, sometimes irrational people (note: teenagers) on the spot.

i should know - i'm doing alot of admin work now, the tabulating of scores, spreadsheets for analysis of data, typing and checking of progress reports, liaising with colleagues to get information for ongoing projects and such.

and i recently got attached too. i totally wasn't expecting it, in fact i was really enjoying my single life (not much due to work tho). but you know, things happen. i know it may seem insensitive given the short time frame in between ending the previous r/s and this, but does there have to be a timeframe in the first place?

i guess a lot of conventions are just that - conventions. one doesn't have to feel imposed or affected by what others think you should behave. i think one's heart really tells you how to act - just follow it and you'll be fine mostly.

was helping (kind of) germ out at the printing machine and i realised to my surprise (ok, not really surprised) that i haven't been exactly going to nice places and taking lots of nice loveydovey photos with the gf unlike the previous one.

i then commented that it's a cycle thing - guys normally do alot for one r/s, then become more lazy and complacent in the next. the situation is exacerbated when the girl appears to just enjoy spending time with you.

i mean, most guys would rather do their own thing - sports, games, books, work, sleeping, watching **** and so on. i don't see any guys (ok, i dun know many romantic guys) who enjoys making stuff for his gf, engaging in activities and going to places that she enjoys but he doesn't really enjoy, or meeting her and her BFFs for meals.

the initial 6 mths or so doesn't count, anyway.

but back to the point. need to start planning more fun/meaningful stuff, as the perpetual excuse that i'm busy doesn't really apply now, or at least after next week. need to fulfil my obligations as a bf, and of course, due to my feelings for her.

the fact that she's slightly older doesn't irk me, but the fact that she's slightly taller and big-boned does at times. but all in all, i feel it's v hard to find a match like this, i was telling my BFs. a girl that suits most of my contradicting criteria and who loves me for who i am.. it's hard to find. i thought i'd never find another one again.

and i very well know that once the bf's been accused of lacking effort, any effort on his part seems unnatural and will not be appreciated as much by the gf, of which may lead to the guy feeling unappreciated for doing more - a vicious cycle. so let's not let it even slide into that, put in more effort!