cny

ok this year's CNY was memorable in (just) a few areas:

1. Winning Eleven 2010

2. V-day

3. Abalone Noodles

1 - for those not in the know, WE2010 is a soccer game on the xbox/ps3 and which is the MAIN game for most guys. i have like a hundred games on the xbox360 and yet i spend 50% of my play time on that damn game. which is alot. and i know guys who do the same.

it's quite amusing playing even the com (5star difficulty is alr getting boring), what more human players? this CNY, my usual few challengers had a great time playing the game with me. and happily for my competitive self, they no longer posed a challenge to me. afterall, when i lose once in anything i care about, normally i hide and practice on it till i'm good.

2 - ah v-day. it's my 1st proper one and therefore i made sure it went well. i thought it went fine but i dunno if the gf thought so too. haaaa. anyways i folded roses since the gf commented that the flowers i gave her b4 were attracting insects. so there. and of course a nice card with my fastidiously neat handwriting. hehhh.

3. i went visiting to a rich relative's house on CNY Day 2. the seat covers, cushion covers and even the damn tablecloth was LV, the decor was tasteful and the furniture obviously expensive. i commented to the maid that i was hungry and would appreciate some instant noodles.

and she cooked this up for me:

there was a total of 6/7 gigantic abalone pieces inside, and i heard from mum that she gave me half the can of abalone. so generous right. this bowl of noodles potentially cost like 20 bucks la i think. i look forward to going back again next year.

tearing

is one thing which comes to me, albeit in small amounts, whenever i engage in certain thought patterns or recount certain experiences.

despite my evident ego, sometimes i really do hate myself. the way i handle things, the way i behave, the way i act, or even think. sometimes i really feel hypocritical for commenting on others, when i'm perpetrating something to a similar but lesser extent myself.

but how can you control what you think? logical and rational as i claim to be, sometimes i suspect if it's a front for justifying all the non-desirable behaviour i engage in. and trust me, i can make any of them sound justifiable, even as others may not deign to accept it initially.

that's why two things i consciously have changed gradually over the years is my sense of morality and threshold of "feeling bad over own actions". one is that i no longer see my decisions and actions as black or white, but simply in a gray region of ambiguity. another is that i've learnt not to kick myself too much over certain things i do, as long as it doesn't adversely affect others.

i guess everyone has their own way of handling their flaws such that their detrimental effects on one's life is minimised or even eliminated. it remains to be seen if my choice of solution is right.

similarities

noticed that 2 of my friends had been talking about the same thing. and to no surprise i agreed with their view. eh they're my closer friends what, of cos can't be that dissimilar right. haaaa.

from peilee's blog:

对人敏感，遇到另一个和我一样的人，总觉得不自在，不想输。
就如一山不能藏二虎 。
内心不断地在奋斗着。

i like, totally agree can. all the people i feel inadequate or uncomfortable around are those with similar abilities, personalities or viewpoints but to a higher/more capable extent. dislike would be too strong a word to use tho.

how can you dislike a person for qualities that u possess in abundance of? that would be like hating yourself. which is not a constructive thought btw.

over recent days, i've come to realise that being able to complement and appreciate each other's qualities can be superior to being v similar, esp in the long run. you may wish for someone's company simply because he/she resonates so well with you initially.

but i guess when the novelty wears off and you start being antagonised by the person in a v familiar manner (similar to what you normally do to antagonise pple), or simply engage in a subconscious battle for superiority, a different approach and accomodation has to be taken to allow the interaction to continue amicably.

and i realised i spent way too much time on non-constructive stuff today. must hand in my self-constructed test paper by tml! and a lesson presentation and essay by fri. omg i'm so behind schedule. but it does feel kinda exciting in a way too.

i thrive on it! ah ok, i procrastinate. back to work.

v-day plans

it has been a busy week indeed- i actually felt abit stressed (for once) over not being able to finish my work with a self-imposed level of quality.

yeah, normally i can afford to go out, do what i like and still get my job done decently. but i digress.

anyways i have finally gotten my v-day dinner plans settled! but of course i shall not divulge the location lest my gf gets wind of it. then not fun alr right.

but i was damn surprised to discover that this supposedly ideal place was so damn near to my JC! that time i never knew it existed la.

but then again, i never once contemplated spending more than $10 per meal back in those old days (exceptions like kuishinbo or marina bay buffet aside) in JC. my paltry allowance of $50/week simply din allow for it i guess. so it wasn't entirely surprising too.

anyways, it's a v hard process sourcing for an ideal v-day restaurant, even with easily available information through friends and food blogs and the such. reasons include:

1. the place has good food and ambience but is too expensive even normally (>$100/head)

2. the place has good food and ambience and v affordable ($70/head) but the damn alacarte menu is not available and the v-day meal is exorbitant.

3. the place has good food and ambience and v affordable (alacarte menu available) but the location is so outta the way that there's nth else worth checking out near there.

4. the place has good food and ambience and v affordable (alacarte menu available) and the location is not outta the way but it's fully booked.

yes of course i could cook myself and have a picnic somewhere but it'll be too much of a risk for such an important occasion. what if the food's horrible. what if the location is packed. what if it's raining. what if we get swarmed by insects. what if my hamster finishes my food before i set off.

you get the picture.

well i just want to play it safe to ensure the most wonderful experience possible for my wonderful gf. it is my sacred duty as a wonderful bf, after all. here's to a wonderful meal and a wonderful day on the 14th.