very busy

recently i've been v v v busy. to the extent that i'm sleeping at 3-4am due to work commitments. ok, i do take a short nap from 6-8pm so i do get sufficient rest but it's really the busy period for teachers.

esp new teachers who have yet to have an arsenal of slides, tests and WSs.

and hmm, i think i may have compounded a mistake i made back then with another mistake that will render the previous one irrevocable. was talking to deb (yes, her! hahaha) during a rare lunch meetup today and she warned me against going with the flow.

i really needed someone to tell me that and she was the perfect candidate to do so. she really does put things across in a non-patronising yet unambiguous manner, which is how essentially to handle most guys i feel.

guys would just advise me to go for it, some female frens would show their explicit disapproval and alienate me towards their words, and some others would simply not know how to give advice on the situation.

after all, it's rare to find someone you can feel comfortable with even after a year or so. there's never a perfect fit, for no 2 people are perfectly alike. i decided that i wasn't v satisfied with the quality of the r/s on impulse back then, and i guess my dumb guy friends gave horrible advice and persuasion pertaining to this. it was my fault tho.

i need to totally reconsider my position, and i may, for the first time, have to renege on a decision i justified so strongly. i need to think things through before i decide on anything, for any decision or lackof on my part will lead to certain repercussions.

but the thing is, i can't really afford to spare much time and effort to think abt it, being busy with work. i shall have to give myself more breathing space and time to think abt it through an action that i will perpetrate tml. i want to do the right thing this time.