criteria for a successful relationship

i've been thinking this over, on the train, on the way to work, and even during leisure time. it's such a hassle having to dwell over such seemingly banal matters, and i hope that thru penning it down, the thoughts pertaining to this matter will cease to flow so endlessly.

so here you go, my generic list of must-have criteria:

1. know what you want in a future partner. do you want someone who likes kids? do u want someone who values silence when it is necessary? do you want someone who have similar working hrs such that you can enjoy her company in the evening? do you want someone who speaks and communicates on the same wavelength as you or simply a submissive type who will give in to you when necessary?

2. respect him/her for who she is. i can't stress more about this. if you feel embarassed by the way he/she behaves or talks infront of your friends, i guess this is already a no-go. one should always be proud of his/her other half, no matter in what situation. everyone has their flaws, but they have their strengths too. be appreciative of the latter and more tolerant of the former.

3. enjoy the time spent w him/her. this one looks like a no-brainer, but i think it may not be so very obvious after all. sometimes one party takes the other for granted, the conversation becomes either one-sided or simply lacks.. effort. no effort to generate topics and listen intently to the other party makes for a lousy convo. when it happens, always reflect on yourself instead of simply blaming it on the other party.

4. be with him/her for the right reason. some pple get together due to misconceptions that they have from prev r/s (e.g. it failed cos he was too outspoken, so i'll choose a more quiet one this time round), because they're looking for a stable potential husband/wife or just because the other party was welcoming to their approaches. be with someone cos u can't imagine life w/o them beside you; they should be irreplaceable.

5. understand the need for constant communication. minor quarrels and disputes are acceptable, if both parties are not mature enough to talk issues through in a rational, mature fashion. the ends does justify the means. most problems do not disappear over time, they only exacerbate - it's impt to work them out as they surface, lest they fester into an overwhelming presence that cannot be resolved by anything but a natural conclusion.

well of course there's more to it, but i too have things to do (rather, mark and plan) so i shall stop here. it's enough for today, and i must say, it has been a therapeutic experience penning down my heartfelt thoughts. watch this space.