bowling under pressure

on the way to the bowling alley after the NM proj mtg, my dad casually commented abt my abymal scores last week (new low of 128 for this yr and an average of 160+) and said that he hadn't seen a 200+ score from me for a good while. 

also mentioned that i was never the same after all my bowling equipment got stolen 2 yrs ago, after which i got disillusioned and stopped trg (also cos i was too involved in hall life in Yr1 la, haha). 

have to admit that i've been on a plateau ever since then.

obviously i was already quite tensed up and kinda emotional, thinking back on the (very) sad incident. but it wasn't an excuse. in my 1st game, i amassed 4 open frames in the 1st 5 frames, with a pathetic score of 40. this is no good, i thought to myself then.

the strikes weren't coming, but the spares were do-able. somehow my accuracy was horribly off and i managed to miss even the simple ones. i was ardently wishing i could start on a new game by the 9th frame, and trying to look nonchalant despite the embarassment and frustration seething within me. 

99 points. i swore my dad was shaking his head when i walked back after my final ball. i din even have the heart to look, given the utter disappointment in myself. i really sunk to a new low. even my mum couldn't recall the last time i went below 100. i think it was in JC if i dun recall wrongly. 

tried to calm myself down and cast away the negative emotions within. tried to recall all the bad habits i tend to sink back into when i dun consciously take note of them: the shoulder drop during the approach, excess backswing, not following through properly and etc. 

to regain confidence and retain consistency, i then utilised a simple approach, keeping my swing short, arm relaxed, fingers tensed throughout whilst focussing intently on my target spot. 179. back in business, i told myself. 

as the flow commenced, i started taking risks, shifting my target board further left and utilising more hook and ball speed to increase the strike percentage. 198, 185, 226. like finally, i thought to myself. a decent 200+ score at long last. 

ok, i can't beat most pple who've had formal trg, but i'm fairly sure i'm definitely up there when compared to the rest. i've long since learnt to be content being a big fish in a small pond. hahaha.

and my mum never fails to remind me how my mood changes proportionately to the standard i'm playing at. even when things aren't gg ur way, u really should stop the occasional finger-ing and silent mouthing of the F-word, esp since u're gg to be setting an example for ur students soon, she told me in chinese.