3rd - ended

yesterday was the 3rd. somehow i feel glad it's gg better and faster than i expected, but i still have my doubts. was mentioning to a few of my close friends that it's just like the other time, but with the roles reversed this time. the similarities in the process is extremely uncanny. and worrying. i really have no wish for it to end the same way too. it's the 1st time i'm doing it the 'proper' way and hopefully it's the last. i'm kinda tired of it all. it all feels kinda empty despite the immediate kick you get whilst doing it.