tiring!

it's been a long and tiring week. can't get even enough time for my papers, books and swimming which i initially placed a daily to-do priority on. and i haven't even started on all my trgs and settling of mundane stuff, nor am i spending too much time on gg out nor working.

it's been meeting after meeting and a myriad of fund-raising events for flag. feel those pple are really under pressure to perform given we broke the all-time record thise yr. haha not exactly as concerned as them. just there as an advisor to point out obvious discrepancies and to offer insight into issues. haha i bet my ex-flag comm pple would be amused and impressed at what i'm doing now.

joined late the last time and had little idea of what was gg on, so just focussed on my area of expertise and did it well. din bother to know nor contribute to other areas much nor gave many constructive opinions abt general issues. quite content then to just do my part and relax and sit back during meetings haha. so different now! not that i want to speak up and be heard but so many things are so glaring that i can't help but comment and offer advice. but of course my appointment also gives me pressure to do more and be more active la. hahaha.

and i recently picked up ice-skating! haha. figured out i'd learn it someday since i live so close to it and have been hanging out in that shopping mall since sec 1. better late than never since i'm still not that old haha. yes i do feel there's an unspoken age limit to certain activities. went with charm since she apparently din know how to ice skate too. haha i always prefer learning with someone together instead of gg with someone who can teach me. more fun mah. and the competition makes learning faster.

and i think i'm kinda a sucky person to learn stuff with initially. cos it seems in the rink that most pple who look 1st-timers always like hold hands and go together, and it seemed proper to follow the norm. but i happily ignored it most of the time like the many social norms i ignore. and i really focussed on the ice-skating, other than the occasional short conversation with charm whenever i skated close her. ehhh can talk in a proper setting later also mah. but ok la i thought i was kinda jerkish also.

really absorbed into my own mental state, trying to sync to and feel all the sensations from the feet up, varying the technique used every once in a while so as to discover the most appropriate one. mentally counting out to keep rhythm and prevent bad habits (say skating with short rapid steps) from forming out of comfort and complacency. observing others whilst taking short breaks. then trying to get the whole body to flow with the leg movements in complete fluid movements after i felt i had got the leg basics down pat.

sokie was right. it is easy for sportspeople to pick up new physical activities damn fast. but the limiting factor was the skates. just like when i was training from scratch last yr for rollerblading in the chingay festival. damn painful la. and my pain threshold is not really that low.

and i discovered i really can't socialise properly when i'm starting to learn something, esp sports-related stuff. too focussed on the task at hand to bother abt others, esp if i know they'll understand haha. alot friendlier when i was playing pool with her.. gave her lots of advice and tips on how to improve since she seemed like she wanted to. joked ard and just created open-ball chances for her on purpose at times. but when i discovered i was in danger of actually losing, i totally changed my mood and got down to the task. haha i bet pple watching would be amused at the sudden change in facial expression and general attitude. can't bear to lose even on purpose!

'll talk more tml cos i dun wanna create too long a post and have to wake early tml. have a mtg at 9 tml (haha gg to skip the event after that), moving my rm and shopping, then mtg peilee to pass her stuff. really need to allocate some time to myself to settle issues and for personal maintenance and relaxation. feel like i haven't been in sync with my inner self recently, with everything's that's been gg on.