self-justifying

i've always prided myself for being rational and logical but the exex recently mentioned that i was far from that - that i was really emotional instead. obviously i'm not gg to take her words at face value but now that i think abt it, i'm not really sure of myself now.

utilising self-justifying logic is my way to make me believe in the decisions i make, to make me feel good at having made the right choices, to give myself and others a plausible reason when things don't go right.

it's the end-result of having things not go my way since young, hence the development of such a complex. if i hadn't resorted to this method, i would very well have sunk into depression, being the sensitive and very self-conscious boy i was then.

this time, i must admit i may have treaded wrongly. even i can't know for sure. but ohwells. things come and go, they say; i can only wish the right one comes along once again. time to justify my decision once again to make myself feel less affected.