reversal

ok i guess sometimes people tend to make assumptions after events have transpired, only to realise after awhile that they were simply reacting to their then current state of emotions and thoughts.

today i was having lunch with the clique, without the one member which displays nearly all the attributes i dislike.

and hor, i realised that i really enjoyed the conversation. no more of those recent laugh-out-loud-at-her-own-jokes-and-rest-chuckle-politely moments, nor those cases where the 2 girls just talked abt stuff where us guys can't grasp shit about.

it was just like b4 she joined the grp. a good conversation with the aim being more of updating and sharing than creating laugh-out-loud moments, the former of which means alot more to me.

i really felt most of my words coming out from my heart (figuratively la) as compared to just saying the right things w/o really caring about what i said. and i sincerely wished to listen to what they had to say too.

i conclude from many prior experiences that i just can't be bothered with superficial conversation (much more than others) should i already have known the person for a considerable time period. i have much better things to do nowadays.

maybe i need to change this aspect b4 i start teaching proper. but then again, I guess it'll be different with colleagues than it will with friends. i should just focus on doing the right thing and refrain from making others feel what others made me feel in the past.