'last' paper tml

ok i'm 3 down, 3 to go. my last of 3 physics papers tml evening. so effectively i'll be damn free after that, cos the last 2 papers are oh so far away, not to mention they're my easiest/strongest modules respectively. if only tml's killer paper (QM!) could be interchanged with either one of them. 

ytd's Solid State Devices was alright, as expected. i mean, it's like a contest to make the most comprehensive cheatsheet and being able to utilise the hundreds of cryptic formulae to solve most of the problems. very engineering. sometimes i dun really see the point of taking these modules - once is fine to get the grasp of the skills required to do well but beyond that it's just diminishing returns all the way.

and today's Thin Film Technology (fave module, fave lecturer of all time!) was kinda of a disaster. to quote a random person whom i passed by in the exam hall: zhen1 de3 shi4 chi1 da4 bian4. thought it really very apt. did 3 past year papers for fun a week ago and found them very, very doable. by that i mean the effort marks per question averaged 15 for a total of 25 marks per qn.

[definition of effort marks: marks that can be secured if u have the notes/TB with you during an examination (closed-book) and you uds your material fairly well]

all the 4 qns available only had like.. 5 effort marks out of 25 each? or even less. definitely the most stingy out of all the chem/phy/engin modules i took in my entire academic career. oh and i wasn't the only one who felt that way. even jeff (mel: the one thing u can never say about jeff is that he's lazy or doesn't put in effort) found it a killer and ivana was her usual "dun know leh" or "ok lor". 

ok update more laters!

3 more days

ok i figure i have 2 papers on the 6th but given that i have 3 more papers in the next 3 days i have like 3 days to study for each of the last 2 papers. and the thing is that they're the 2 modules which require the least studying (i think 1 day for each is more than sufficient).

so i should be in hol mood after the last of 3 physics papers on wed evening. shall do the study by the pool regime and alternate swimming with reading my materials at a luxurious pace. should be able to clock 100 laps at the least per day, methinks. shall have to go below 70 before the end of exams before i resume my tennis and trg for IPPT. 

really feeling the strain on the knees even during normal walking, not to mention during impact sports. yeah i do lose weight to look better for my own sake. but it's mostly to be able to engage in the things i love w/o constantly worrying abt my knees collapsing all of a sudden. i don't ever want to experience that sensation ever again.

the colour and vision exam was horrendous. much, much harder than the tests and CAs.. so i can't figure where i stand in the cohort now. but i'm sure my 80th percentile for the 40% CA should guarantee me a decent grade despite the exam results. 

and damn the lecturer. punishing the pple who skip lectures by asking questions like: "we watched a video called 'at first sight' during lectures. describe what the video was about." this is so unfair given it has nothing to do with knowledge of the module itself. and there was a few questions similar to this. 

ohwells. as usual i put it all behind me when i stepped out of the exam hall. no point dwelling over something unchangeable and therefore inconsequential, esp when i have other pressing/pertinent concerns looming over the horizon. last sem le. let's finish it with a bang.

the question

i figure i'm a compulsive liar. 

after forgetting her b-day, i assured her that i had alr written her a card and picked up a gift for her, and had not wanted to meet her then cos i knew she was busy with projects. 

5 days later, on the day we were supposed to meet, i hurriedly wrote the card and rushed to JP to get the gift. 

met her for the b-day dinner at vivo. enjoyed the conversation throughout, as well as that at the outdoor pavilion whilst admiring the night scene and the view of Sentosa. the mood was set for the question, but i let it slip again, partly due to purposeful intent, partly due to nervousness. 

on the way back, after hesitating many times, i finally asked. but it wasn't the question i was thinking of asking before. after 10 long mths of supposed dating, i have to know, i felt.

"ehh. so are you attached now?" (or something of sorts)

sometimes i really do amuse myself with my lack of dating protocol and subtlety. shouldn't i have asked this much sooner. ohwells. at least i know she's single. and most likely available.

one thing abt her is that we have virtually no mutual friends (ok there's one, in my closest clique too and hopefully he din leak my blog add to her otherwise i'm dead) so it's harder to ascertain her r/s status. 

and i do require a long time to develop considerable, lasting interest in someone, lest it's obviously a close to perfect match coupled with sublime chemistry. 

there's a good reason why i'm stalling, and yes jack u hit the nail on the spot 1st time. i know myself only too well and circumstances (after graduation) may lead to adverse consequences should i alr be in a r/s then. i need more time. 

if taking my time leads to me losing what i have now, so be it. perhaps it just wasn't meant to be. let's simply let time tell - it never lies.

 

envious! haha.

from a friend's blog:

"we will sit under the sun and have our long promised picnic, stay under the velvety sky and star gaze, run to the beach and hit the volleyball, watch many bimbotic movies without the burden of project meetings, explore new places to feast, hold hands and flirt extensively with each other while walking along the streets of orchard road"

ok when will it be my turn to do all the above? not very long, i figure, if i finally get down to it. but the question is: will i pop the question? hahha. maybe. maybe not. let's just go with the flow.

april

"God didn't create the world in seven days... he slacked off for six and then pulled an all-nighter."

hahaha i think it's gg to take a miracle or lots of effort to do decently well. but at least it's not both for the moment i think. i think. hahaha. 

amnesia

omggg can't believe i actually forgot abt her b-day; facebook really saved the day man. shall pretend that i rmbr-ed it all along and prep smth for a belated celebration. 

hahahah. think i dun really care much alr la. 

bowling under pressure

on the way to the bowling alley after the NM proj mtg, my dad casually commented abt my abymal scores last week (new low of 128 for this yr and an average of 160+) and said that he hadn't seen a 200+ score from me for a good while. 

also mentioned that i was never the same after all my bowling equipment got stolen 2 yrs ago, after which i got disillusioned and stopped trg (also cos i was too involved in hall life in Yr1 la, haha). 

have to admit that i've been on a plateau ever since then.

obviously i was already quite tensed up and kinda emotional, thinking back on the (very) sad incident. but it wasn't an excuse. in my 1st game, i amassed 4 open frames in the 1st 5 frames, with a pathetic score of 40. this is no good, i thought to myself then.

the strikes weren't coming, but the spares were do-able. somehow my accuracy was horribly off and i managed to miss even the simple ones. i was ardently wishing i could start on a new game by the 9th frame, and trying to look nonchalant despite the embarassment and frustration seething within me. 

99 points. i swore my dad was shaking his head when i walked back after my final ball. i din even have the heart to look, given the utter disappointment in myself. i really sunk to a new low. even my mum couldn't recall the last time i went below 100. i think it was in JC if i dun recall wrongly. 

tried to calm myself down and cast away the negative emotions within. tried to recall all the bad habits i tend to sink back into when i dun consciously take note of them: the shoulder drop during the approach, excess backswing, not following through properly and etc. 

to regain confidence and retain consistency, i then utilised a simple approach, keeping my swing short, arm relaxed, fingers tensed throughout whilst focussing intently on my target spot. 179. back in business, i told myself. 

as the flow commenced, i started taking risks, shifting my target board further left and utilising more hook and ball speed to increase the strike percentage. 198, 185, 226. like finally, i thought to myself. a decent 200+ score at long last. 

ok, i can't beat most pple who've had formal trg, but i'm fairly sure i'm definitely up there when compared to the rest. i've long since learnt to be content being a big fish in a small pond. hahaha.

and my mum never fails to remind me how my mood changes proportionately to the standard i'm playing at. even when things aren't gg ur way, u really should stop the occasional finger-ing and silent mouthing of the F-word, esp since u're gg to be setting an example for ur students soon, she told me in chinese. 

overcoming poor form

met ginny on the bus ride to sch and i recall talking abt linky and his perpetual complaining that he's not on form during trgs (he's like forever off form one la, i commented wryly, last week it was the new dampener and next wk dunno what). 

but i do understand where he's coming from.

back in sec sch and jc, i was a damn sucky bowler (averaging 140), given the amt of time and $ i invested into it (or rather my dad did during our weekly games haha). couldn't even place the ball consistently at specific locations and i was totally puzzled when the ball path din follow my projected one at times.

had so many bad habits that even my dad got tired of correcting them. guess that's why i can point out mistakes and guide pple quite well now.. cos i really took the long path, having to correct all the myriad errors i had (alot!), bit by bit over the years. 

being a gracious winner and generally a sore loser (even so now, just that i dun show it as much), i kept blaming my ball, the lanes, and even the surrounding pple (they're noisy! i recall myself saying). 

my dad very intelligently bought me my 1st ball when i was in Sec4, hence nullifying my typical excuse that the house balls din fit my fingers well and that they were tight/loose-fitting.

i guess, without tt experience and those from my other sports, i'd still be a hopeless whiner. one can whine all he wants, and nothing's gg to change until he acknowledges that oneself, and not other factors is the main cause of the poor form. 

aim to keep things simple and constant, remember the feeling of being in the zone and try to replicate that form if possible in regular play.

still have a long way to go in tennis but i'm sure i'll reach the target i've set for myself eventually; it's just a matter of sooner or later. 

friends?

5hrs of discussion and editing with the NM proj pple passed quickly, not least due to the fact i really quite like 2 of the 4 present, and given the level of communication and chemistry we've all achieved thus far. 

based on the 1st impression alone , i would gladly have chosen them if given the choice again. looks and the way one speaks is sufficient to judge someone considerably at the initial stage, after u've met ur fair share of failed friendships (ok, not exactly failures la, haha).

now i realise that hall life isn't all it's made up to be, at least for me. i guess it's all abt immersing yourself in an environment where u feel at ease with yourself and others, one conducive to the making of true friendships. time spent and proximity seriously isn't a factor. 

i consider ginny and linky friends whom i'm truly comfortable with and who knows the real me quite well. and i just knew them like.. last june for only 3 weeks? the weekly tennis lessons does help alot, tho.

and let's not forget glad and lalaa (yes, you! haha), both through the ballroom dance course last may. like i was telling jr over msn, i figure my preference is towards knowing pple with whom I have no mutual acquaintances, the latter including those i'm not exactly on good terms with. 

one gets the chance to start on a fresh slate, both knowing each other with no prior knowledge or expectations, all of which is nothing less than.. refreshing. i'm loving it.

jel's 21st (warning:anal alert)

was quite glad tt i went in the end, thx to a certain someone. actually had quite a gd time there - mtg up with the flaggers, catching up with a few of them (think i should ask some out for a meal sometime) and also the 4th floor D-blk pple. 

just saw the pics on fb, and i have to say it was horrendous, to say the least. yes, a point and shoot cam implies just that, but one has to take note to at least utilise the flash if he/she isn't confident of steadying the cam whilst shooting. 

i get quite miffed when pple take photos in low light conditions w/o flash, in a stance where both arms are away from oneself in a boxing-like stance. liddat the pix sure blur one la! and it seeems the ISO wasn't even increased accordingly. 

this is what u get when u neglect using flash and u can't hold the cam steady

no, this is not an artistic shot. it's simply overexposed. and lacks symmetry. 

just feel strongly abt it cos it's her big occasion, being the 21st and all, and photos serve to preserve one's own memories of the event and the happenings. yes, maybe the other cams may turn out to have decent pictures, but the story told by her own photos would be forever etched with imperfection and bear little resemblance to the vibrant evening that transpired. 

or maybe it's alright in her eyes. i wouldn't know. but given a situation where my own photos are summarily judged/criticised by experienced photographer relatives, i feel it's normal to be unduly upset abt some seemingly basic errors that i felt shouldn't have been perpetrated. 

but i did use ethel's new cam to capture a few key moments (hurriedly) so at least i tried to help la. yes, yes. i think i shall go back to my studying and stop my whining.