the month of dec

my 1mth vacation (probably my last one as a student) has officially transpired. looking at my schedule, it's really been a packed one, filled with meaningful meetups throughout.

yes, certain meetups are quite meaningless and simply to combat loneliness. hmm but then again they aren't that meaningless for they allow you to appreciate and see just how meaningful your 'meaningful' meetups are.

i was about to printscreen my monthly schedule and put it here to boost my ego since it looks damn happening this year but it's in the lappie - troublesome. and not much point putting it here also la. i'm not such an exhibitionist.

like real la. i'm just lazy.

oh. and this year it was a first for me, not going for dumb countdowns (not inc. private events) on christmas eve and new year's eve. and i was in no way upset by it.

infact i was quite amused and impressed with myself for not succumbing to the cliche of hmm, happily counting down (count down le, so?) or simply the pre-process of cheering/gathering merrily and reminiscing about the past year.

ok, call me boring. but hor, i really think it's pointless. gathering wise, u can gather at any other date, in an atmosphere that is less boisterous and noisy (i prefer not to have to raise my voice to be heard). movies are the dumbest thing u can do on those days but some do it and it's like how ex man.

lastly should you attend a countdown to fruition, prepare to fork out good $ for a cab (if u wait long enough) or squeeze sardine-like in public transport.

i think the only pple who should logically like countdowns are party animals who enjoy the presence of fellow fun-revellers, loud, thumping music as well as the electrifying atmosphere. and couples who think that gg to countdowns is the right thing to do as a couple.

i only know alot of pple go (i used to) for the sake of going (my friends gg too! they say) and being able to tell about it, not that any of my friends are like that, tho. so old le, why bother abt appearances when you could be spending quality time with yourself (hahaha) or others?

of course it helped that most of my group gatherings (or individual dates) fell on all the dates from the 21st to the 1st dec except on 24th, 25th and 31st. apparently enough pple in my grps were attached such as to render most grp gatherings non-applicable. or maybe i have no friends.

also helped that the gf was working or i'll likely have gone for a dumb countdown too. hahaha.

anyways on those days i played tennis, did my work, played games, read books and dinner-ed with friends and family. just like any other damn day.

i seriously dun see the big difference between one day and another such that i have to drastically alter my lifestyle for it. esp dumb countdowns. yes i know i've used that word alot today.

call me old, call me boring. but i stick to my stand that everyone should know what they truly enjoy and live their life around it without being influenced (too much) by surrounding friends, simple hype or simply their perceptions that they have to perpetrate something or else.

if you truly enjoy something, do it. if you dun, don't, unless there're tangible and considerable rewards/benefits from doing so. be happy for the sake of yourself ba. life is that simple and easily enjoyed. most of the time we just complicate matters - just follow your heart i feel.

the knee problems

the past 2 months has been a good sports period for me, having acquired a fixed weekly badminton grp and 2 fixed-timing weekly sessions for tennis. and that's not including the sessions w linky/ginny or the impromptu games w random pple.

however despite religiously wearing my kneeguards which slow down the acceleration considerably, the knee cartilage does wear out after repeated impacts on the ground. and to top it off, i weigh a fair bit hence the situation exacerbates.

so i've decided to continue on with my intermediate golf lessons (after getting my PC last mth) which will force me to stop the tennis/tanning sessions on sat morn. which will allow me to socialise with john and new pple and reduce one weekly source of knee-destroying.

knee replacement surgery is out of consideration for now cos it's not THAT bad yet and the success rate's not total, furthermore i would have to walk in crutches for a mth and no sports for at least 3 mths. that, for me, would define a life with no leisure and fun.

maybe i'll go for knee cartilage injection surgery at TTSH. 6mths of relief and the prevention of long-term / old-age injuries. a few hundred bucks a pop but haha i think i can well afford it. i spend like.. 50bucks a mth on glucosamine/chondroitin/msm tablets anyways.

(most) guys are evil

today i was having supper with the bestie. and heard that his most desired affair hadn't been gg v well, even tho it was initially very positive physically and emotionally wise. apparently the girl (who has a bf) suddenly got a conscience, and the very manipulative attempts at coercing and convincing hasn't been gg v well.

amused cos it was his first evident failure in yrs (now he's attempting to impress upon the girl that he values her just as a close friend but yet acting subtly that he can't help but do extra), i nonetheless spoke up in admiration of the girl. dun have to worry abt hurting his feelings since he knows i always say what i feel haha.

so the girl's told my friend that she really thinks he's the ideal lover but she still wants to talk it over and work it out with her bf who's always busy with work and doesn't really satisfy her emotional needs. and wants to remain just close friends with him for the moment and nothing more .

she replies and responds readily to any non-emotional sms or conversation starter and not at all to emotional ones. (e.g of emotional sms: hey missing u; can't help but think of you; really wish i was there with you now, "insert common phrase that all guys use")

i think all girls should be like her. and it's not, btw. i have sufficient guy friends who tell me stories and it seems girls open themselves up to possible emotional cheating by actually responding or even gg out casually and allowing the evil guys a chance to subtly play upon the doubts they have abt their current r/s and how they would supposedly "give you the love and attention you really deserve".

guys are basically manipulative, i feel. the only guys who aren't are those who simply doesn't know how to or doesn't dare to. for me it's the strong personal code of conduct (the new guy friends always laugh at this even when i honestly feel that way, cos i talk a fair bit of rubbish) and a deep belief that karma happens back at you so i dun recall doing ath against my moral values.

therefore i dun believe in other guys wanting to know a girl (out of nowhere) to be simply friends. no doubt he wants more than just being a friend, esp if he looks decent enough to alr have a respectable amt of friends of both sexes.

yes, i know those cases do occur. but it's either because the guy just wants someone to make use of, spend time with or it could be that the girl is of different race or simply aesthetically undesirable.

the last part is especially true for ALL guys but no self-respecting one would readily admit to that. i lie about it too of course. haha! dun tell me u never suspected guys were like that.

and yes, i know that some of those guys actually turn out to be decent friends who no longer try to be touchy or send long smses or ask you about your day as much - or essentially dun hit on you anymore and are generally.. friends.

but that's just cos they gave up as they din seem to be getting anywhere with you or is busy with some other girl (it's his hectic work schedule, he tells you when you ask why he seems more distant and unavailable) currently.

so basically to prevent emotional cheating on the part of the girl: give those guys a chance to be friends but not respond to their emotional smses or offers to individual meetups (unless they're proven harmless) nor share too much of the melancholy part of your r/s - all these gives them evident openings to leverage from unless you're one seasoned veteran yourself.

instead gush (not too much of course) abt how happy u are with the bf - afterall if he truly wants to be ur friend he must want to hear how happy you are and want to know more. that's really the tell-tale sign. guys who want more than friendship show visible discomfort and awkwardness at the mere mention of the girls' other half.

and it may seem like i'm blowing my own trumpet but i think i'm one of the few i know who simply enjoys the process of a genuine, trusting, sharing conversation and nice meal - nothing more than that. maybe i just wasn't cut out to be more than that.

maybe it's cos i'm happily attached now or that i'm just simple-minded haha.

i'm back!

hello i'm back from a long hiatus! yess i know i should update more frequently but the opportunity cost really got alot higher after hols started. afterall, would you rather blog than go out w the gf/friends, tennis/badminton or simply basking in the world of Xbox360? ha!

hmm ok shall update on the entire prev week. since i'm here anyways and don't know when i'll be back again. i've this this habit of writing down the events (and the pple they entail) in my monthly schedule so i remember quite well heh.

sunday: went to meet 2 tampines pple in my journey to the east. first jud to pass her a spare cam memory card b4 she flew the next day, then glad for dinner at cityhall and some decent jazz performance (free! she said) at the esplanade. it was really a horrible mrt day - lakeside to tampines, tampines to cityhall, cityhall to tampines and then back to lakeside.

monday: hmm i played DragonAge:Origins (best fantasy RPG ever! i always tell my friends) till like 7am then went to sleep, waking up a good 10hrs later to rush to holl vill to meet angel (haaaa late again!). as a sidenote, i really quite like thai express - the tomyam soup, the grilled seafood platter and the soft-shelled crab.

tuesday: k-box with the guys (like finally, a grp outing w them). as usual i was happily singing oldies (eng and chinese) that nearly everyone din hear b4. and oh.. christmas songs! then tennis w new pple (intro-ed by alan) - they din go for proper coaching but been playing for ard 5 yrs, and were really quite a decent challenge. new, skilled tennis/badminton kakis are always welcome :)

wed: date with the beloved gf. checked out the art galleries at mt sophia whilst trying out my new Lumix-ZS3. my 1st compact point-and-shoot cam! then celebrated her sublime uni results at tao's (fine-dining for the typical student). then watched couples retreat at the cathay.

loved the movie alot! even tho the gf din appear to be amused by certain crude words and gestures as well as the occasional sexual / pop culture reference. thought it was the funniest show i watched this entire 2009 (quite on par w the hangover). yes yes gf i know u think the proposal is the best.

thurs: badminton with bert, gary and junli. it was a really good 2hrs doubles game, albeit it wasn't really as tiring as usual. likely cos bert was really quite outstanding at covering the backcourt and forcing errors alot. as usual i got him to 'fang shui' - so the opponents'd think it's a good, even match and continue joining next time. v hard to find pple ard my mid-level standard la! same for tennis also haha.

fri: shopping at queensway w linky. one of the few (ok, two) guys who can stand my shopping.went an hr earlier to check out the models and prices so it's not too unbearable for him. got my apac badminton shoes (w power cushioning) which supposedly has the same functions as the yonex (overpriced!) ones but was 3 times cheaper at 55bucks.

OH btw i did a taste test on the laksa and chicken curry of the seemingly 2 identical stalls selling both in queensway. and it was obvious that each one specialised in one dish. for best laksa: the newer stall with the orange tables. for best chicken curry: the one with brown tables.

sat (finishing!): tennis with rick, jerry, linky and 2 other working adults. great game, those new kakis offered. then the gf for storm warriors 2 at cwp.

worst movie of the century! haaaaaa. ok almost. esp considering i left my brain outside the theatre and tried not to have too high an expectation given the decent prequel. i din like the weak story development and the convenient loopholes in it. the subpar CGI at times was annoying too.

ok i'm tired! i'm sure you must be too :)

the triple As

one of the modules i take in NIE's professional communication, and the graded tasks include an oral presentation on topics teachers face (like briefing overseas scholars on life and work in SG, announcements to the sch, etc), a podcast (on colloquial english and ur views on it) as well as e-mails to superiors as well as class participation.

so today was the last day of lessons, and the podcast pairs were called one-by-one to get their grades for all save the e-mail assignment. well, i only rehearsed twice to myself for the OP, the podcast was a do once and submit effort (most other friends submitted after about 5 attempts), completed the written e-mail in 10mins when others handed in at the alloted time of 30mins, and my attempts at class participation were open attacks of sarcasm at the lecturer or snide comments (puns and 'ahem' references) to my friends so loud that half the class of 30 could hear.

obviously i din pay much heed to the module. afterall, i do believe that written (grammar, expression) and spoken ability stops developing much after 12 - recall reading an article on that. and ok la, i was quite confident it'll be a breeze and i always have a heck-care attitude towards sch ahhaha (bad teacher!).

so hmm, i got As for all the above, esp surprising for the class participation bit. think the angmoh guy found me v vocal for an asian and surprisingly amusing. they have a different sense of humour i guess. i dun know my grade for the e-mail assignment but i'm quite sure from my subpar efforts for the other assignments (which i A-ed) that i should get an A for it too. heh!

jue

today i was tired and bored in the lib with my phy/chem NIE friends. and was scrolling through my ginormous msn list (mostly from hall pple). and then i proceeded to do the rightclick, delete contact, enter on about 20 of them. ok at this point i think my bro (or some other pple) will think: delete for what! just keep there la. wun die one right.

i just dun want to be reminded tt the young, naive me actually invested time and sincere effort to know these pple whom i now barely talk to and who barely care to contact me and whom both parties barely have any interest in talking to each other. yes, it doesn't hurt to keep them, but i dun want to.

i'm quite jue in most aspects i guess. even as i may appear harmless, friendly and a nice little pushover. when i decide that someone isn't putting in half the effort i am to maintain the f/s, i enter into a state of mind that it's likely to happen in the future and i mentally delete the person from my mind. but of course there are exceptions la. hahah.

so kaypoh

today i was happily reading the guy's blog (again) and it's not been gg v well for him. i dun want to be so nasty as to say i alr saw it coming (likely he did too) but yeah, there're tell-tale signs for every of these cases and i think i'm one of the few who would know better ba hahaha.

i always like to acquire pple's experiences and derive lessons learnt from them. in this case i would have to say the lesson's not to take the other party for granted - resentment builds up to a tipping point eventually . just like one of my favorite mantras in life: prevention is better than cure. which i learnt through many painful experiences (not all r/s based la! knee also).

the touch

today i chanced upon a blog written by a guy (whom i can't say i know very well) and it really did touch me how he expressed his love for his gf (hopefully so). it wasn't exactly the type of flowery english, heck, it wasn't even proper english. and coming from a language snob like me, i have to say it's quite amazing his words affected me so.

i always pride myself at being able to decently read the feelings and hidden nuances in words, spoken or written, and i sensed no form of deceit or manipulation in them. only sincerity, regret and may i say, true love. yes, i would have been easily able to produce something seemingly more effective in half the time he took to write whichever entry, but it would definitely lack the impact his had to his significant other.

the feelings do count in writing. and that's why i seize any opportunity which brings out the writer in me, such as i can enjoy the flow of translating my inner thoughts directly into the spoken word. of which i have yet to really grasp. but then again, how many can truly master this? very few, i should say. (direct spoken to written translation doesn't count)

ohwells i do wish that guy all the best. everyone is entitled to their own opinion and i have mine, definitely, about how i expect it to turn out. human nature. even if others doesn't vocalise/act out their thoughts, doesn't mean they dun think it silently themselves. but then again if everyone were uninhibited in their expression, it would be quite a chaotic situation indeed.

where are the nice guys

trigger: the supper buddy who always seems to be constantly involved with other parties even tho he keeps insisting "i love my gf v much and i think she's the best for me".

this particular friend of mine who indulges in weekly clubbing (waste of $ and low yield-time ratio i feel) argues that one gets bored w the current gf after a matter of time, and says tt unless she is outstanding in comparison with the ones the guy meets, is there for the guy most of the time and is really caring/understanding etc, things are bound to happen.

i wouldn't say i agree with him, but i would say that with the exception of TWO guys amongst all that i know well (and it's quite considerable i must say, given that most trust me and i elicit the worst out of them), the rest have harboured thoughts (or have alr engaged in) betrayal of some sort.

physical betrayal i can't condone (why can't you just do yourself? faster, more convenient and likely better, i comment to them w a wink and smile) but emotional betrayal, it's subtle as in most guys don't even know they're engaging in it or rather pretend that they're not, instead choosing to say "but she's just a friend!". then again that could be true too. for it's but a thin line btw the two.

happened to read this article from a link when checking my hotmail:

http://lifestyle.sg.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=3645897

think it summarises emotional betrayal v succinctly.

so normally i ask: do you: 1. share your thoughts, feelings, and problems with your friend instead of your partner? 2. give them personal gifts without an occassion? 3. get annoyed with your partner because it seems like your "friend" understands you better? 4. keep your friendship a secret from your partner?

and most of those attached friends of mine, without any further commenting on my part, answers the 1st 3 qns positively then sheepishly try to justify themselves on the last qn by stating that "but i told my gf abt the girl before!" then after a silent pause "ok la, not entirely". terrible right.

oh but then there's a silver lining to every undesirable situation. the above, of course will never happen in many cases, such as the readers' (you). but due to me being bored, i have happily classified those non-applicable scenarios nicely as belows:

1. "honeymoon" the relationship is less than 3mths old and both of you are still in la-la land.

2. "bored and alone" both of you dun meet up proper for more than once a week (busyness not really an excuse - SG so small cannot even meet for a meal meh). which helps to extend the la-la land period but which eventually gives the guy (and maybe the girl) free time for others to enter. no pun intended.

3. "the outstanding gf" pretty, caring, understanding, sweet yet knows how to rein him in subtlely such that the bf never really takes the girl for granted nor feels she's manipulative.

4. "the herd" with regards to no.3, maturity on the part of the guy's friends: to know and constantly remind him that once he engages in deviant behaviour, he is likely to lose his wonderful/irreplaceable gf.

5. "i'm a loser" the bf has such low self-esteem that he feels you're the queen of his world and will do ath to keep you (and nth that will repulse you).

6. "i'm not a loser, but everyone thinks i am" the bf is so hopelessly unattractive (horrible looks, poor qualities, lack of social skills that even if he wanted to stray, it'll likely be in his own room).

7. "alpha male" other than work, his hobbies involve gaming, TV-ing, soccer or other male-sports. and he's lazy to know new pple in general.

hmm i'm sure there's more and i'm sure that maybe it's just my male social circle and i'm sure there're more guys out there who are wonderful/nice and i'm sure that your bf (if you're female and attached) is one great guy so dun go bashing me and my Humble views here. hehhh.

obviously i dun have a v high opinion of guys in general (generally childish, insensitive, superficial and horny even tho their female frens/gfs dun know) and i have alot of fun talking abt it with fellow guys (and some cognizant girls) and revelling in the sharing process.

me? hmm my personal mantra regarding this and whom i always like to say: never do ath which would cause you to lose sleep at night. and also: the grass will always/eventually seem greener on the other side, but stay where you are as long as the grass u're on is sufficiently green. yupp.

working weekend

due to overplaying the past weekend and the deluge of deadlines to meet for the next 2 weeks, i have imposed a stay-home-do-work weekend this week. with the exception of the evening family bowling session and golfing lessons/test tml morn too. heh.

ohwells time to get some work gg. no more playing of games (actually it's just farmville and winning eleven now haha) for the next 2 days and the regular manga comes out every fri so i guess it's just the soccernet/goal.com updates and the newspapers that'll take me away from work. oh and of course the occasional 'compulsory' activity.

like working out at home (sat) and swim after golf (sun). haha.