overcompensating

J commented during supper tt i gave her the impression i was over-confident and arrogant. very bluntly. from her 1st impression, and esp after reading my blog posts. (said pris: u gave her the blog add b4 she knew u well right?)

but i really appreciated that frank comment. it caused me to ponder, made me contemplate my actions, the conversations and mannerisms. esp towards the pple whom i've known lately, over the past few yrs.

on a long (self-imposed, cos i always like to emo outside) walk home, the thoughts ran thru my mind. rapidly in a jumble, then it came to a slow halt, becoming sufficiently organised as to be analysed and understood.

i guess i was v affected cos i felt misunderstood. it's the other way round, in fact. i wasn't joking when i commented to her abt my shyness, quietness, and my inferiority complex. it's just that i decided to focus more on my strengths (what little of it) and less on my weaknesses in the process of improving myself.

and felt that there was no pt showing others my weak and insecure side. it's not that they can help me, anyways, and everyone wants to be with a positive, fun person.

i was really sick of being self-pitying yrs ago - knew i wasn't not talented in anything in particular.. but it's not as if i din try to be the best i could be in some areas.

at the very least, i should be proud of myself for.. simply trying. perservering despite my limitations and other's disparaging comments.

i tried to appear confident despite my inner insecurities.

and i overcompensated. she did well in reminding me of that fact.